How is this poem?

It is revision month, so I am reworking a lot of old ones.





Behind the Potted Flowers





It is a drafty old place


but stands like a monument,


enclosed by a deck of azaleas


almost straining to smile;


our home, hidden behind a pink petal storm,


like a bride behind her veil.


There are the patched holes in the wall,


where the spackling dried to a visible tint,


and recorded stories


for each one.


There are the broken plates and mugs,


in the cabinet;


at least the ones who%26#039;s handles were glued


back on, and the others that only retained chips.


They have their stories as well.


In the window above the sink,


mother%26#039;s day geraniums still struggle to bloom.


And there are the stained stairs,


the spills being the least of what fell.


The wobbly leg to the kitchen table


And the two broken doors,


the one with the visible gash,


and the one to the patio


whose torn, shredded screen still dangles.


Impatiens bloom with intensity.


Each room has its own story,


But the one


that stands apart from the rest


is the one that goes with the marked up bedpost,


and busted springs--


like a testament to some sort of truth.


In the foyer,


two slender tulips brush bulbs


and take the tired posture


we never did.

How is this poem?
i like the poem when it tall about the drafty old . is great did u write this poem.if u did u a poet
Reply:Beautifully written..awesome!!
Reply:It%26#039;s message is not clear- but poetry is supposed to be like that. It%26#039;s good
Reply:Show-off.......lol..........Blessings Yahoo
Reply:wow. awesome
Reply:it%26#039;s a very nice poem. your words are so complete, i feel like i not only read a poem but actually visited this wonderful home. thank you
Reply:This is a damn fine poem...
Reply:Interesting. I am reminded of a home in Charleston, SC. I don%26#039;t know why but I am. It%26#039;s good.
Reply:very deep with alot of hidden meaning I like it
Reply:I liked the first one, this is clearer and better.
Reply:i lub it
Reply:I will give my vision of this most beautiful poem. I may not be right, but you will know where I went wrong. This dreadful looking house , inspite of broken cups, torn screens, etc., is full of love from a time long gone. No matter what story each room tells, somewhere a flower always bloom. There are great memories of a time gone by and someone whom can relate to the days of glory in this once beautiful place. There must have been love because the condition of the bed holds the truth.- I hope I%26#039;m not to far off, because I can feel something here.
Reply:Some sort of domestic violence or abuse of some sort.


Patched holes in the wall make me think of my brother punching holes in the wall of our home growing up. Broken plates give that idea that they were thrown or dropped. Stained stairs another clue to violence. Broken doors. etc.





Bed posts and busted springs---well that%26#039;s starting to scare me now; testament to truth and two slender tulips brush bulbs,. Please don%26#039;t call me perverted here but I%26#039;m thinking sexual abuse or rape.





I love how you added the beauty of the flowers and wove this throughout your poem.





This is so awesome.


It is an honor to comment!



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